Archive for the ‘funny’ Category

the quest for three squishy balls

Sunday, November 18th, 2007

i like to post things that i don’t have any use for in the free section of craigslist. i figure this way someone else may be able to use what i don’t want and we can avoid throwing it away. so last week i posted an ad for three squishy balls that i didn’t want or need. the text went like this:

i have three squishy foam balls from various promos that i’ve come across. two globes and one apple. would be good for small kids to play with or maybe dogs that wouldn’t tear them apart to eat them. contact me via email to arrange a pickup.

and i attached a picture so everyone would know exactly what i’m talking about.

i got a reply almost immediately from someone who wanted them for their kids physical therapist or something. about ten minutes after i sent that email out i got this one:

Oh my good lord jesus please tell me those three squishy balls are still available?! I have just returned from a 4 continent search for squishy balls and the three fine specimen you display in your ad are clearly the cream of the crop! I must have them! Now, don’t even bother responding if you no longer have the whole set. Really, what kind of simpleton, what kind of rogue, keeps two squishy balls, that’s rubbish! So, sir, if you do indeed still possess all three squishy balls, do not even think of sending them to the garbage heap, I will come and pick them up. Day or night! Rain or shine! I just need 24 hours notice so that I may secure proper transport. I hastily await your reply!

Sir Stephen Of the Balls

needless to say, i was laughing pretty hard after reading that. it was just so damn unexpected. so i felt as if i had to reply to poor steven and let him down gently:

my dearest sir steven,

the three squishy ball holy grail may, for the time being, have escaped your grasp once again. while they are clever in their deception and trickeries, they found themselves a suitor mere moments before your unearthing of this criagslist ad. should the tyrant who now has ownership control over what should rightfully be your squishy balls fall wayward and discard the notion of desire, to you i shall call.

my deepest sympathies

i haven’t heard back from him, but the first responder flaked so i just emailed him back to let him know that his grail is attainable once again. i hope it makes his day.

peace

leaning tower of pisa

Thursday, November 15th, 2007

saw this while browsing the internet the other day:

well now this explains everything!

peace

well placed google ad

Wednesday, November 7th, 2007

this morning i am reading a reuters article about a 95 year old woman who is a blogging sensation in spain. so i go to check out her blog. shockingly enough, it’s in spanish, which i don’t speak. but i did notice a post that she put up talking about how her blog has made international news. i also noticed the screen shot that she took of the article about her on reuters that i had been reading:


click on the image for a bigger version.

notice the ad choice?

peace

tech center help line

Sunday, October 28th, 2007

Operator: “Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?”
Caller: “Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect.”
Operator: “What sort of trouble??”
Caller: “Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.”
Operator: “Went away?”
Caller: “They disappeared.”
Operator: “Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?”
Caller: “Nothing.”
Operator: “Nothing??”
Caller: “It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.”
Operator: “Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??”
Caller: “How do I tell?”
Operator: “Can you see the ‘C: prompt’ on the screen??”
Caller: “What’s a sea-prompt?”
Operator: “Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?”
Caller: “There isn’t any cursor; I told you, it won’t accept anything I type.”
Operator: “Does your monitor have a power indicator??”
Caller: “What’s a monitor?”
Operator: “It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on??”
Caller: “I don’t know.”
Operator: “Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??”
Caller: “Yes, I think so.”
Operator: “Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s plugged into the wall.
Caller: “Yes, it is.”
Operator: “When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??”
Caller: “No.”
Operator: “Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.”
Caller: “Okay, here it is.”
Operator: “Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely into the back of your computer.”
Caller: “I can’t reach.”
Operator: “OK. Well, can you see if it is??”
Caller: “No.”
Operator: “Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??”
Caller: “Well, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle — it’s because it’s dark.”
Operator: “Dark??”
Caller: “Yes – the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.”
Operator: “Well, turn on the office light then.”
Caller: “I can’t.”
Operator: “No? Why not??”
Caller: “Because there’s a power failure.”
Operator: “A power …. A power failure? Aha. Okay, we’ve got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in??”
Caller: “Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.”
Operator: “Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.”
Caller: “Really? Is it that bad?”
Operator: “Yes, I’m afraid it is.”
Caller: “Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??”
Operator: “Tell them you’re too stupid to own a computer!!!”

Protected: tom’s notes

Thursday, July 26th, 2007

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